Stories From The Folks Who Were There
Well it started on the day before DragonCon (D*C) actually started. I talked to a friend of mine who was supposed to get me a pass to D*C for my birthday which is coming pretty soon. He had told me that he was on the staff list and had a few extra bucks lying around, so getting me in was no problem. He told me that he was going to Con early in the morning and he'd get me a ticket with minimal hassle. The only thing we didn't discuss was how he was supposed to get the ticket to me. Now D*C is a HUGE con, and simply telling someone "I'll stand by the entrance at 7pm dressed in all black" doesn't always help you out. D*C is mostly comprised of 250,000 people. 10,000 of those people are goths, 20,000 of them are Klingons, 10,000 of them are affiliates of Star Wars, 5,000 of them are Anime Characters, 15,000 of them are computer geeks/net fanatics, 10,000 are punk, 10,000 are vampires, countless amounts of them are normal outside of D*C but freaks when they come to it, and about 10 of them are hard-core Joe Christ film fans. With this strange mixture of people all at one place walking around at one time, trying to identify someone simply based on how they look is near to impossible.
So the night before I'm Jonesing left and right and planning what I should take and what I shouldn't. Caffeine mixed with my ability to go to sleep around 7am didn't help me in the least to prepare for my interview with my college rep. So no sleep for me, I'll just tough it out all night. Now mind you in all my experiences that I have of deciding to not sleep the night before, all of them never had positive effects the next day. My rep walks in at 9:30am. We get acquainted quickly and get right down to business. About 40 minutes later my friend Jim comes over in the middle of the meeting with me and my quite attractive college representative. Now Jim is gothic, and my college rep is a primp and priss middle-aged woman from somewhere out in the midwest. Now if you've ever seen the two together in one room, differences and possible reactions one will have towards the other start to build up in your like a snowball rolling down a hill in the middle of winter. But luckily for me, Jim has an absolutely incredible ability to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger despite the way he dresses and is presented towards your everyday average Joe. He goes off into some tangent about the weather and how he finally got to where he is today with his band. My rep enjoyed it, perhaps a few hours too long in my opinion. I wanted to get to packing for D*C like 2 hours ago, and this situation wasn't helping. So I interject in the conversation a few times mentioning my representatives career as a topic, around the third time she finally looks down quickly to her watch and notices that she has an appointment in about an hour across town. So off she goes, and off I go to my room to begin the random process of packing.
Black clothes... black jeans... black underwear... wait I don't remember these...
Camera, tarot cards, stones, notebook, paper, and sketchbook. Doh, forgot the pillow. Well maybe Jim will have one. Hmm, food would be good now. Jim and I hit the MARTA station (transit system) and make our way down to the Peachtree center station. We managed to find our way to the hotel with no problems. Up to the 18th floor. Whew, we should be able to drop our stuff off at the room and make it to the Dealer's room in a few minutes. *Knock Knock*. Hmm. Well it sheems that the door ish locked and nobody is hoome, Mish Moneypenny. Dish ish not goood.
Well Jim and I make our way down to the lobby level and find our way to the Con. Lotsa people and long lines, oh so fun... At about 3pm my shoulders started giving me signs that severe weight stress is not good. I'm carrying a giant pillow, a couriers bag and luggage filled with clothes, stones, and bath utilities. Gawd, I hope no one thinks I'm an idiot or a freak or something. Just to my luck, this was D*C. So I'm standing there looking at some art of the new Crow and this woman wearing nothing but boots, a metal bra and a chastity belt walks by. Damnit, where's that camera... Another girl dressed exactly like Xena: Warrior Princess walks by and gives me a sideways glance. I smile back and then realize "Wow, I'm not a freak in here... I feel so... normal..." Food would be good now. 2 hours pass. Whoa, this booth has the entire Evangelion series complete with stand up dolls and models! Food would still be good now... another hour passes. I ask Jim if we could stop at the McD's outside and get something to eat. He agrees slowly as he checks out the Xena look alike once more. 30 minutes pass until we actually find our way out.
We stand in line for about 10 minutes and Jim gets a page from a friend who has a room. We scarf down the food and run very very slowly down 2 blocks to the Hyatt. The Hyatt is complete with 28 floors, a spinning restaurant at the top, and really long lines at the elevator. Stairs? Sure why not, I'm only carrying 40 pounds on my person and have a stomach full of a McDonald's number 4 with everything except onions. As soon as I climbed that second flight of stairs, I made myself a life long promise to never again do this because a line is too long. Oh man, how I wish I could describe those 11 floors to you, but the pain, sweat, and soreness in my legs, neck, and skull the next day are beyond my words.
Jim and I literally take baby steps to the door on the 11th floor and knock on it with incredible difficulty. A nice girl with purple hair and great smile answers the door. No time for introductions, where's the bed? I drop my bags into a corner and slump down into a bed as Jim does the same with me. In my entire life have I ever felt a more comfortable bed. Well, actually there was that one time. The whole story involves running from security and someone slipping aphrodisiacs into my drink as some sort of sick joke, but that's a completely different story. We sit there for a few hours meeting person after person come in from one flight to the next. Of course, everyone introduces themselves by their real names and then when they notice that no one realizes who they really are, they give their handle that they use online and then everyone jumps up in a surprise and gives them a great big hug. Of course, me being Low Tek, I MUST be different. "Hi, I'm Low Tek and no I won't tell you my real name." The rest of the night is spent meeting 15+ something people while drinking strange mixtures of liquors I can't even pronounce sober.
But something great happens during all of that. A friend of mine (who I have just happened to meet) introduces me to a girl (falsely named just like everyone else in the story) named June. First impressions don't last long with me because if they did, this story would be a lot shorter. June begins to tell me how she is going to the Crystal Method show that night and needs to find a way back that is inexpensive. I help her out by giving her the number of a local taxi cab company. She smiles and looks at her watch as she twirls her belly button ring. I just sit there and stare at her abs and belly button for the next 5 minutes as she tells me how this is her first big techno show she's going to.
She comes back later that night while everyone is partying and talks to me about different types of music, anime, and comic books she's into. Amazingly, many of them are similar to what I listen, watch, and collect. This chick rules. I won't go into the details of the whole thing (mainly because I'll sound like some cheesy romance novel and lose sight to what this whole story is about, my weekend), so I'll just say I really thought she kicked ass. I didn't make any noticeable moves on her, but then again I'm a guy and I was drunk, so what do I know?
Geez, what time is it? 5am? Hmm, I guess that means bedtime huh? Oh well. Jim and I as well as five other people who were sharing the room went up and crashed. I found a nice spot under the corner table. For the next hour I spend shaking uncontrollably wondering if the air will EVER shut off. I stagger upwards through the rhythmic mixture of snoring and loud breathing and find my way to the closet. Perhaps I can find a bath robe to keep me warm. I slide the mirror aside and reach in. What's this? Extra pillows, towels and blankets! I am saved. I fall asleep 2.14 minutes later.
At precisely 10:32am I am awakened by a cornucopia of Scottish accents, the weather channel, and a small crack in the blinds that just happens to allow enough sunlight in to streak across the entire expanse shoe and clothing ridden room and right into the corner of the room where my head, and more specifically my eyes, happen to be resting. "Aye... I've gawt jet lag... so wake up ya fookin' wankers." Mental note: kill first person you come into contact with that is speaking loudly...
The next 30 minutes is invested trying to futily go back to sleep, and then eventually kicking me out of the bathroom four times in an attempt to shower in my awakened stupor. I hate it when people take advantage of me, but it sure does make a good story.
Back to the Dealer's room it is, right after I finish my first meal on the Jim diet (Jim was paying for my food for the entire D*C) which is basically a coffee for breakfast, a coffee for lunch, and smell anything I want for dinner. We make a few passes around the area and lose and regain several members of the posse. I spot June again. This time she's wearing a cute outfit that shows her abs, again. Surprisingly enough, she gives me a hug. I turn back to see Jim with a huge grin on his face. She tells me how she's supposed to meet someone at D*C and how I have an incredible resemblance to Mousse from Ranma 1/2. We part a few minutes later as I turn to Jim who still has that same grin.
Jim and I went to the 2600 meeting early that evening at Lenox Square and met up with a bunch of our friends. Normally we talk about what systems we've hacked and ideas that we have that could possibly be put into a product, but instead we talked about D*C the whole night. Go figure.
Later that everyone did the same thing as the night before but
with different types of liquor. I take a few swigs of Rumple Minze and
cranberry juice and feel a slight buzz. Half an hour later I notice
one guy has a set of porno dice. Very interesting game may I tell you.
One dice has nothing but verbs on each side, i.e.. Suck, Blow,
Squeeze, Lick, Kiss, etc. The other dice has a body part, i.e.. Below
waist, Above waist, ear, lips, etc. Well let me tell you right off the
bat, this game gets incredibly boring without liquor and shouldn't be
played under any circumstances without it. Again, I could go into
details but some things are left for mystery. All I'll tell you is
that I got to taste some interesting parts of anatomy on both the male
and female. (I just know I'm gonna get emails asking about that last
line...). Later on as I progressively got more and more drunk, I
thought it was necessary for everyone to know my real name. So I told
them. I mean come on, if a dood is going
Soon after the game, June and I became acquainted. No details yet
again, you'll just have to sexually torture me to get me to tell you.
=]
*Knock Knock* Ugh... what time is it? I don't really know the
exact time I got up, but I coulda sworn the clock-radio said 10:32am.
I let a few of the people I met the night before in as I put my
clothes on and did my normal morning routine minus the shower (all my
clean clothes were at the other hotel room). 30 minutes getting ready
and waiting for everyone else to get their act together and another 30
minutes in the hall waiting for the elevator. The Westin's elevator
were so horrible, that the owners made the stairs "Fire Exit Emergency
access only" to further the annoyance.
Another trip to the dealer's room and meeting more people. This
time I actually bought stuff. I got an Evangelion poster and a small
knife that is equipped with a rib breaker. June met up with 3 of her
friends that day. One which my friend Jim took a liking to. For sake
of inside joke and protection of her name I'll call her Alita. Alita
wore this really killer outfit that I would say can only be seen on
Club Hoppin' Barbie. As everyone split up taking different sides of
the Dealer's room, Alita and Jim hit it off pretty well from what I
could tell. We left the Con area to go rest at the hotel for a few
hours and decided that we would see a Joe Christ film later that
night. Big mistake there.
I was completely freaked out by the whole film. It basically
consisted of terrible editing, horrible acting and a rape scene in
which Joe Christ (main character) gets thrown up on (a few times). For
the rest of the night, I wasn't the same Low Tek. June was mentally
scarred for the rest of her life and was catatonic for a few hours as
well. Hell I don't blame her.
We got back to the party room and found out that one of the party
goers lost his dinner and then some all over the bed and that the
smell was terrible. So we sat in the hall for 4 hours and shared a
couple beers. As we were wandering around the hotel some guy waiting
for an elevator said I sound exactly like Jeff Goldblum. So for a few
hours all I could do was say corny lines from some movies he starred.
Mostly Jurassic Park. "Man, now that's a big a pile of shit."
"Aye... wake up ya fookin' wankers." 11:32am. I smile as I realize
I got an extra hour. Sunday. Everyone starts packing and getting their
stuff in order as I nonchalantly take pictures. Another trip to the
dealer's room. June was pissed because some idiot kid was at the end
of the Jim Lee signing line and he wouldn't trade it for anything.
Needless to say I had to talk her down from using her newly bought
knife on the pathetic fan boy's eyes.
We met a great guy named Chris Seaton who drew June some Ranma 1/2
anime pictures and drew a portrait of her "Manga style". It was really
cool, so I asked him to do a an Anime-Low Tek versus Anime-Jim. He did
it easily in a spanse of 4 minutes. He signed it, took a few pics with
us, and added us to his mailing list all for free. Possibly one of the
coolest Exhibitor's we met.
To wrap it up quickly, we spent a long while waiting for a ride
home and I then had to help June break into her house because she
didn't have keys. The score of free loot was high, the liquor amounts
were greater, and the amount of cool people I met were countless. So
if you ever get the chance to go to DragonCon here's a few tips: Don't
drink what someone calls a "magical elixir", pack lightly, dress
however you want, and always always have *HotSex* (it tastes really
good). =]
(This is just a little story of shopping with Takhisis. Oh, and Euro was
there too. I wrote more bout the weekend, but it's mostly long winded
and dull.)
After managing to find the main lobby of the Hyatt on Wednesday, the day
before Con, Takhisis and Euronymus came down and welcomed me in their
sleepy-eyed state. We went out to share a smoke (Euro and I picking up
exactly where we'd left off about two years prior) and Takh told me of
arriving at some ungodly hour in the morning, like 6:15, but being told
she couldn't check in until 7 AM. Hmpf. Once nicotene-ed and slightly
more oriented and personaly, quite giddy, we set out to do a little
shopping. The first of much much alcohol was purchased. A little beer,
gin, vodka, and tequila. Then we went in search of a convenience store
of some sort. Takh had the ingenious idea of getting a styrafoam cooler
to keep all the assorted liquids cold in, and I knew we at least needed
many many cups to hold all this fluid. While looking for such cups, I
realized that I had forgotten shot glasses, and damn, how does one do
shots of tequila without shot glasses, much less tequila poppers? We had
the Liter o Sprite and some lime juice (no real limes were in a ten block
radius or I would have sensed them), but no shot glasses. Fortunately,
Takhisis the wonder woman that she is spotted a package of small 3 oz
plastic cups which I quickly snatched up and we claimed them for god and
country and tequila. Then with tower o cups in hand (and other assorted
goodies) we headed for the counter. Takhisis inquired about a styrafoam
cooler and the clerk pointed over at a wall like a greek messenger god
and we beheld a stack of fine styrafoam the likes of which ye have never
seen before. Appropriately awed by such a site, we purchased our goodies
and stopped for some good ol'fashioned fast food chicken to take back to
the Peachtree.
Ok, so here it goes, i'll try to make it as short and sweet as possible.
First of all, i arrived on Friday the 4th, i think, well i arrived
Friday. Like it matters, i got there with my parents (sad but hey they
let me get away with a lot). I paged Torry frantically trying to find
where everyone was, and i found out they were all 11 floors below me.
So i met everyone for the first time, it was a bit awkward, but aren't
most of these type internet meeting things? anyhow, i felt rather
'ungoth' compared to everyone, (bytheway you were all really kewl about
meeting me, and saying hi cuz i was shy as hell *at first anyway*)..so
yeah, that night i really don't kinda remember much of what happened
except for the fact that rfJames got drunk. Then Saturday i went on a
hunt for liquor with Gabe, that was fun, don't get in a car with that
boi ;)(you know i'm joking). So we found my zima and boones and
SKITTLES, and everyone enjoyed my skittles. (and you all thought i was
crazy) So yeah, that was Saturday i got drunk, i got ass-friendly, and
we were all happy. And later that night i spent the night at the
peachtree which was an experience in itself, sharing a bed with rfJames
wasn't the highlight of the evening i can tell you that right now
*smirk*. i went from burrito girl to hard shell taco in a matter of
minutes cuz it was so godamn cold! yeah so, Sunday we all hung out at
the bar, people gradually left at differant times and we all said out
bubyes. I left on Monday and that was that. I had a great time at my
first Con thanks to everyone *hugsnkisses to all* oh yeah and artie
rules.
So it's nighttime, and the room has divided itself into two groups: the
not-really-drunk and the oh-my-god-drunk. And lo, the not-really-drunk
did recieve a divine calling, and that calling was "FOOD!" The
oh-my-god-drunk people were generally engrossed in playing dice and
roughhousing and having fun so we, as a semi-sober collective, decided
to sneak out to a restaurant and try to grab a meal without being
forcefully ejected. The party consisted of me, Euronymus, Gabriel,
Kashie, Lochlann, bleak, and Gibby. On our way out the door, Niteshade
grabbed us and asked if he could come with. We looked at him
skeptically, huddled, voted, and finally decided to give him a sobriety
test: hop down the hallway on one foot. NS immediately took off like a
jackrabbit amputee, racing perfectly straight lines and circles around
us, so we all journeyed on together.
The endpoint of our pilgrimage was a brewpub by the name of Max's, which
served a large quantity of meat and alcohol at very low prices
(qualifying it as a lower plane of Nirvana in most of our opinions). We
all threw our orders randomly at a flustered but tolerant waitress, and
Niteshade asked someone to "just pick something, I can't read the menu".
When the food finally came my plate got tipped and a horde of french
fries bolted for freedom down the length of our extra-long table. I
fussed and bitched at the fates ("Did you see what GOD just did to us,
man?!") then scooped them up and ate them anyway. The waitress brought
over an extra plate of fries just to be nice, although nobody had any
room for them so they ended up on Niteshade's plate (along with a couple
extra salads and whatever other food people hadn't wanted). Much
highly-innapropriate dinner conversation ensued, including the
unpleasant side effects of Olestra. Unfortunately for Gabriel, he was
eating baked beans at the time and turned a couple interesting shades of
green. Niteshade started sobering up ("Where'd all these french fries
come from?")...sort of. Half the people at the table threw money at me
and went outside to smoke. I looked at the bill, threw in a wad of
money, got up, came back, realized we'd tipped three times, took a
mini-wad back and headed out.
On the way back to the hotel, Niteshade enlightened everyone on how
amazingly physically coordinated he was while drunk and how he'd fooled
us all.
"Ha ha ha!"
At this point Niteshade reaches into his pocket and hands me a roll of
medical tape. I pull out a goodly length and start advancing as
mencaingly as I can. Niteshade, realizing WHY I was asking for tape,
squeaked and fled for the safety of the hotel. Which was, unfortunately,
across a large street. With traffic. But true to his
drunken-adept-amputated-jackrabbit-wu-tang style, he streaked blindly
straight across the street without incident and into the hotel.
"Oh, shut up about it already."
"Make me!"
"Anyone got any tape?"
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