history and hijinks

Guided Tour of #Alt.Vampyres

as told by MrsFoo

Hello, and welcome to the grande tour of our fair home: #Alt.Vampyres.

I am Foo, and I will be your guide this lovely night. As soon as therest of our party has shown up, we shall start. Oh, lovely, therethey are. Follow me please...

Here, we have our front door (which virtually nobody knows exists,unless they find themselves accidently pushed out during a wild party).It's a nice door....solid oaken construction, deep carvings....you know,one of those wonderful gothic mansion type doors. (sound of creakinghinges) Follow, please...

As we enter the channel, note the huge bat hanging in the Foyer overyour heads. Feel the luxurious deep purple carpet at your feet. So,if you would like to step this way, I can show you the grande meetingroom.

(the party enters a cavernous room, staring in awe at the way it's been decorated)

At the back of the room you will see the bar, where not only drinksand blood are served, but it is also where you may find Stasia desOnyxx piruouetting as her server lags behind most of the known universe.Behind the bar is the huge gold gilded mirror. And off to the sidesits Phelan, our watchdog, and faithful (sometimes annoying) bot.To Phelan's right is a slightly cleaner spot on the floor where oncesat his compatriots: Daanu (the original warbot), Durga, then Hel.They have since departed, but Phelan is ever faithful, in spite ofgoing AWOL for days at a time.

Overhead, there are rafters, where a lot of us like to sit, hang, orwhatever, on. Hanging from the rafters is the hammock of our fair (and me droogie) Takhisis. You can very often see hernfamous window, which Sanguin hasbeen known to kick his servers out of. If you care to look outside,you can still see a huge rusty mound of Texas servers covered in ivyand cobwebs. We tend to throw a few other tid bits out that window,in spite of our janitor, Guido, complaining bitterly about the mess.But hey, what else are we paying him for?

Near the west wall is the stage, where poetry readings happened, andwhere Shroud used to sing, and where Sanguin's production of PiranhaPoodle Theatre was played out.

In the middle of the room is the DanceFloor, which is used quite a lot by those who do the Happy Foo Dance, or Dance like a Jackal (tm Aeryal), and various other dances.

Scattered throughout, you can see our loverly furnishings: couches, velvet sofas, Ericah's Crimson Divan, Blckrose's beanbags, Foo's giantstuffed gorilla, the Wookiee skin rug (shut up JetGirl *grin*), andthe coveted spot in the middle of the channel where Kasha (whatever the hell your name is today) sits.

In one wall is BlckRose's hole-in-the-wall, where she can be seen kicking out the bats and spiders, tearing out cobwebs, and stuffing her bean bag into...

I do believe our green goddess, Artemis, has a pile of lovely silks and velvets, and leaves, where she has been known to cuddle her swain of olde; bestow leaves in the hair of the worthy; and eat strawberries,or whatever else she wanted to tempt us with.

Over here, we have a plaque commemorating Priest's 83 hour stint on our channel (he fell asleep for a bit, and thought that time didn't count, but we gave it to him anyhow).

In the back, there is a doorway leading to the breaking room, which isfull of loverly expensive and irreplacable objects d'Art. When we getangry, there's nothing quite like destroying that Ming Dynasty Vase.

There is a fireplace, in front of which, sits the Wookiee skin rug.

We have beautiful marble pillars, which people use as back rests.We have an inexhaustible supply of ho hos. We have a closet wherewe tend to hide while explosives are being bandied about. There arescorch marks upon the walls, and occasional peep marks (may they restin peep). Over there, we can see desnoirs' grandfather clock, whichhe sometimes sits upon (as if he needs to look any taller). Westill have the bag of bags, the gerbilator, the dry ice (tm) bombs,many other wonderful accoutrements...

I know I must be forgetting some details in this grande tour. If thereare any questions you may have, you can join me in the channel a little later...

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